Due to an administrative hiccup, I'm flying back to London tonight, and not Tuesday, as I'd planned for. It's a shame I don't have another two days and a shame I couldn't spend a final contemplative moment on Venice Beach watching the waves and bikinis and plotting out the course of my future, which I enjoyed doing so much. But it's fitting that the manner of my departure should be as unexpectedly sudden as my arrival. When I left London, although I knew the departure date only too well, I was taking care of small items of business and generally getting my runnings in order right up until the last minute, and the flight crept up on me - now today I'm doing the same, fitting in packing bags, cleaning 119 1/2 Wave Crest Ave, arranging the inspection, returning computer equipment, with doing and drying laundry so I can have clean boxers for my homecoming parade.
LA has been a resounding success for me. I'm really, really pleased to be able to say that - there were certainly many times when I wondered if I was doing the right thing - at times I felt that I might have come out here too early, that there was more to learn and a lot more to do before launching myself headlong at trying to break into the world's biggest entertainment industry. If I hadn't found the success that I have, getting signed to direct music video and commercials for Bill's company, then I would still have considered my time worthwhile - I met some cool people, made some good supportive friends, taught myself a lot about the craft of screenwriting (and decided which bits of that were relevant and useful to me), wrote this blog, deconstructed the legend of the Hollywood Lottery a bit, and learnt that if I try hard, my chances of making it here are good.
LA is better for my career than London because:
I am new there, I am British, and that, apparently is useful.
Efforts are on the whole rewarded, rather than taken for granted.
LA is about the idea. It's the only currency that you can't bail out with dollars. Hollywood is a giant sea of all types of highly skilled production people, so if an idea gets the go-ahead there's an army of people who can put it on the screen, but only a few good people who can conceive it in the first place. So my work (which I have always felt exhibited decent ideas, but was a bit low-budget and scruffy) has been universally well received here, instead of the usual London production-values snobbery, the fear of praise, the 'be great to see what you've done in a couple of years', and a music video scene in danger of strangling itself with it's own skinny jeans leg.
At first, when I arrived here I was quiet, slightly dumbstruck. Now I am comfortable and confident, and I can talk the talk if need be.
I feel very good about the journey home. I am really excited to see my family and friends - my Mum and Dad, my bro Nick who is getting married on Saturday, my homeboys Oli, Duncan, Joe and Jess, all of whom I have been in regular contact since I came out here, forcing them to listen to endless tales of my totally awesome, totally new life. As much as I have fallen in love with this place and the way of life, I'm excited to be coming home, not heartbroken, because I now know I will be returning. The last few evenings I spent here had a different complexion in the light of that knowledge - I was still riding around the streets of Venice in the warm evenings, on the lowrider as before, but now those streets look like becoming my new neighbourhood, and I'm looking forward to the challenges of the year ahead, instead of wondering how I'm going to make it through.
Remember how when MySpace came out there was a little gay check box where people would choose from a drop-down menu an entry that described their mood? A sort of precursor to the Facebook Status Update. If I had that checkbox now, as then, it would be unsufficient to define how I feel at this moment. Mood is beyond positive, beyond just merely capable. I feel ready to take care of business. I know what I have to do now, for maybe the first time in my life. Thank you to everyone who helped me get here and get to that precious realisation. You don't know how badly I needed it.
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