I'm really getting into the swing of American life. Only been in the USA two months, and I'm sueing already. I was at the Santa Monica courthouse yesterday to file a small claims case I'd really rather not have to do - from the outside a shining white building on manicured lawns - inside, just the same dusty, wood-venered municipal red-tape matrix you'd expect in England. (disappointed to find the Sheriff's Office wasn't full of cops in cowboy hats). Weapons search on the way in, followed by a 25 minute queue outside Room 116 to file claims. Filing a claim to sue is like booking concert tickets.
In the queue in front of me were two women, both submitting forms. As the second had hers stamped, she gestured vaguely behind her - 'So if I pay her now, I can get a certificate of resolution, right?'
'She has to sign it, ma'am, but yeah'
The other woman in the queue said 'You can pay me honey, but I can't sign that form till the check clears'
'Oh ok, right. So that means we gotta come all the way back here when it's paid?
'Yes it does, ma'am' said the clerk.
'Damn, girl, couldn't you have found us somewhere a bit closer?'. She laughed. The other woman laughed. They slapped hands. Woman One was sueing Woman Two, but they were obviously good friends.
How does that work - one friend sues another but the friendship stays intact? The very strange organism that is the American legal system. Someone's got insurance in this equation, I'm sure. Not much chance of an amicable settlement in my case, unfortunately. I will be representing myself, and invoking the ancient legal principle of volo meus argentum, meretricis, otherwise known as 'Bitch, Better Have My Money'.
No comments:
Post a Comment